Ironically Yuffie
by Omni Disappointment
Summary: Yuffie likes someone, yeah it's not all that big of a secret. Sadly, that chocobo butt thinks she likes Vincent, as well as the vamp himself. Watch the horrible triangle unfold into and even more ironic story. How Yuffie makes life so interesting! VxYxC
1. 1: Entry in the ol’ noggin

**Ironically Yuffie**

Sadly Misunderstood

Ch: I Entry in the ol' noggin

They all thought I was cute, but so immature, I knew that for a fact too. Though never in my years as a kunoichi have I ever been called 'cute'. It was like tying giant heavy bow to a tiny feeble kite. It was wrong at utterly pointless, I was hot and sexy, not cute!

The days went by like nothing and I remember how the birds used to caw in my hometown, there was no resemblance here. It only said 'Aho, aho!' which I pretty sure is an obscenity judging by the fact that it was a twisted, mental grin whenever it says it. Maybe I'm chauvinist jerk, like Vinnie, though better looking and so not emo. I swear he does voodoo on pretty sexy things like me.

Maybe just maybe he has a thing for me, I'm not quite sure. I can feel it though you know. Then again I'm pretty sure Reno does too maybe I'm paranoid. Paranoia is a funny word actually, it never seems to make anything better. Oh lookie here, I'm rambling on and on and on about pointless crap.

…Who am I? Oh, by now I thought it might have been obvious I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie Kisaragi! Borrower extraordinaire, you all wish you could be me, well let's get back to the actual point of my whole rambling.

Cloud. One word, 'nuff said. I kind of sort of, maybe like him. Okay, maybe I _really_ like him. Like a whole lot. But I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm an annoying klepto. Too bad, materia makes the world go round. If not then the world would be square and Yuffie no likey square worlds. No siree. Not that there are square worlds…are there? Nope there aren't. I just asked Vincent, he gave me a weird look like his, 'are you really asking me this?' look. He's the freak in the red robe thing, not me.

Oh gawd, Vinnie just told Cloud what I asked him, seriously that vamp is a girl-wannabe, gossiping and all that. Aw, now Cloud gave me a weird look, wait, I think he's smiling. Or laughing at me. One of those things now I feel stupid.

--

Yuffie's head was practically smoking. "I think she's actually trying to think." Vincent comments softly, shaking his head slightly. A small smirk started etching its way across his face. Cloud offers a small smile of his own looking at Yuffie; she was red-faced and down-cast. He almost felt sorry for her. Almost. "I think she likes you." Cloud mutters off-handedly. Vincent nearly fell off balance. Hilarious if one wanted a hand cut off.

"You, you're joking, right?" Vincent gasped, trying to regain his composure, looking over at Yuffie nervously. Yuffie was busy trying to get up, apparently during the two man "gossip" Yuffie fell backwards successfully breaking a lamp and one of Tifa's picture frames. "G-gawd!" Yuffie stuttered, rubbing her head angrily, unaware of Vincent's uneasy gaze.

"Hey, Vince, I was kidding." Cloud answers after a few moments, walking away from the crazed man. "Ugh…" Vincent was not good now, he was sick, he actually thought Yuffie had feelings for him. Ha! No really. Ha and ha again. Vincent stopped. 'Oh please no. Not for the little thief.' Grudgingly Vincent stalked towards the confines of his own room.

Yuffie finally managed to stand shacking off any dirt presentable. "Oooh, stupid ass chair. Falling and all that." Yuffie muttered before turning in herself.

**A/N: First story, first chapter, potential pairings Yuffie/Vincent Yuffie/Cloud. Dunno. Read and review if you'd like! Well review…yeah.**


	2. 2: Muffin Man?

**Ironically Yuffie**

Sadly Misunderstood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, but I do own this plot. X2 (since I forgot the first time)**

Ch II: Muffin Man?

'It's kind of awkward seein' Vinnie stare at me like that; does he even know he's staring? He probably doesn't, I mean, c'mon! Vinnie never stares, NEVER! Well unless you count at Tifa, well I never caught Vinnie staring, but I think he does, I bet cha he does, I mean, look at 'em hooters! Vinnie that pervert.

'Where was I, oh yeah, Vinnie's staring and he won't quit it. I bet he found out I'm so cute and a way sexy princess! Nyuk nyuk nyuk, yeah, Vinnie so loves me!'

After Yuffie came out of Lala land, she skipped over next to Vincent, his eyes never leaving her. "Y'know Vinnie, if ya wanna say ya like me, just say it." She grinned, waiting for his response, nothing. "Er, Vinnie?" still no response. "Vinnie, I know my uber hotness leaves you speechless, but please, talk." Vincent blinked once, then twice, "Yuffie, step away from me." He answered in that oh-so-cool voice of his.

Yuffie's jaw dropped, "Huh, wait-YOU were the one staring at _me_!" Yuffie stomped her foot childishly, pointing an accusing finger at him. Vincent blinked again, which was starting to infuriate the kleptomaniac. "I was not staring." Vincent remarked, looking at Yuffie. "Yu-huh!" he paused, "no….I wasn't." Yuffie puffed her cheeks out, waiting to shout out several obscenities at the gunman, though she didn't get the chance.

At that moment the blonde-haired swordsman popped his head in the room, "Uh, oh…" Cloud paused, looking from Yuffie to Vincent, his eyes holding a certain suspicious air to it. "Well, if you two are busy then I guess I should-""NO!" Yuffie butted in, grabbing his arm before he could leave and leading him to a spot near Vincent and where she previously was. As soon as Cloud was seated she plopped herself next to him, in between the two men.

A few moments passed in silence.

Another few moments passed.

Yuffie grinned awkwardly through the uncomfortable silence. "So…" she started, hoping one of them would follow on; none did.

'Gawd, boys these days, complete idiots or what?'

Yuffie puffed her cheeks out again; she started raking her brain for anything remotely nice to talking about. Nothing came up. Now Yuffie was getting desperate, and both men were looking impatient.

"Er…" Yuffie mumbled, fiddling with her thumbs. "Do you know the muffin man?" she asked innocently looking at Cloud, he gave her a weird look. She turned to Vincent, and equally weird look. Yuffie sighed, "Y'know, the muffin man, the one that lives on Drury lane, or something like that, maybe muffin lane, or cookie lane…dough lane?"

Yuffie's ear perked up, a soft, deep rumbling echoed through her ears, 'am I hungry?' she shook her head, she ate a big breakfast, she couldn't be. She looked around the room, scanning around for Nanaki or one of the two twerps. The rumbling grew a bit fainter and she could hear small laughs along with a few snickers. She turned to the two males. They were the source of the noise, they were laughing at her.

"Hey, that's not nice; I wanna laugh too, what's so funny?" Yuffie pouted, looking at Cloud then Vincent, and back at Cloud. "You were right the first time if I remember correctly." Vincent muttered, turning his gaze elsewhere. "So you do know about the muffin man." Yuffie exclaimed, grinning." And here I thought you guys were old geezer like people."

Again the awkward silence returned.

"Um…" Yuffie fidgeted once again, looking at both men. The muffin man suddenly burst into her mind again, after much effort of cramming it into the darkest depths of her mind she sighed. "So…what do you guys think about Tifa's boobs?"

The two men left as soon as the sentence ended leaving the poor ninja staring blankly at the wall.

"Um…wait…what?" she asked to no one in particular, "was it something I said?"

--

"I still think she likes you." Cloud said as soon as they were out or hearing range. Vincent just looked ahead of him, not really wanting to answer. "Vince, you alright?" Cloud asked looking at the stoic man. When the male didn't answer Cloud dropped it, knowing he wouldn't get much out of him.

'Ah poor Yuffie, liking a mute vampire.' Cloud inwardly grinned, picturing the image of Vincent and Yuffie at their wedding. He cringed slightly, though for some odd reason he substituted Vincent's picture with his own. 'Eh, well, it doesn't look all that bad.' The swordsman shrugged it off, walking off in a random direction.

**A/N: Whee, second chapter, and it took me so long….sorry. Well I tried adding some random things from notes I wrote in my notebook. Another note, vote whether you want Clouffie or Yuffentine! I'll try writing the next chapter faster, but reviews help a bunch. Whether good or bad! **

**Omni Disappointment is done!**


	3. 3: Closet of DOOM!

**Ironically Yuffie**

Sadly Misunderstood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, or Spongebob, if I did, then I'd be a rich old geezer…ess.**

Ch III: Closet of DOOM

--

Yuffie sat upside down it the ragged little cushion Tifa dared to call a sofa. It was meager it was tiny it was unnatural!

Eureka!

Yuffie knew what she was going to do today.

--

Vincent sat across from Cloud in the once forbidden, now open to close friends, emo-ish room of former vampire himself. Vincent. Now, what would two perfectly non-_**homosexual **_adult men be doing in a dark room? Did I mention they were purely _**non-homosexual**_? I did? Wow.

"Cloud, take it off…"

Er, well that was unexpected. Now there is no way this could possibly mean what you \may be starting to think it means.

"Cloud, _take it off_."

Okay maybe it is what you think.

"Cloud, take off my cloak." Vincent growled under his breath, his eyes narrowing at the image in front of him. Cloud, THE Cloud, was wearing Vincent Valentine's cloak and _posing_ in it.

You little perverts, why would you think they went homosexual behind our backs when I stressed it to a point that they were _**non-homosexual**_, funny how bolded, italicized, and underlined words can throw you completely off balance.

"Vince, you have got to calm down, it's not as if anyone is looking." Cloud grinned, looking at the door.

Click.

Cloud and Vincent stood dazed for a second before whipping around looking for the assaulter who dared blind them with that…blinding light.

Vincent looked behind the curtains as Cloud looked underneath a rock, yes; Vincent has a pet rock that he tells no one about. Deal.

Vincent lashed open his closet door before his eyes widened as big as saucers.

"Yuffie?" he asked, whispering in an almost unmistakably high voice. And lo and behold! There stood/sat Yuffie in a very messy, tangled, utterly scary closet. 'I need to clean this more often…'

"Vince! Thank GAWDNESS! I thought I would have died in there!" Yuffie cried, trying to pry herself out of the clutches of the closet of DOOM.

Vincent couldn't help but step back as he thought he saw a sweater of his leap at him. He couldn't help but start to close the door when he saw Yuffie start to sink into his mess of clothes. He couldn't help but walk away as he heard Yuffie scream obscenities at him. And he couldn't help but drag a dazed Cloud still holding his pet rock when he thought he heard something sounding like a burp.

"We shan't speak of this ever again to anyone…" Vincent said his voice still a bit scratchy.

Cloud could only nod dumbly and stupidly pat the rock.

'I'm going to name you Patrick Star...'

And Cloud could have sworn that he saw Patrick smile. Weird...

**A/N: I know stupid, sucks, and pointless, but isn't that why you love it? No!? Oh…well I guess I can do some more fluff. I guess… It's short I know, but this is mainly just little drabbles, so don't be disappointed by the small size. I'm planning on making a hundred of these…but should I? Review please!**


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